Help...
My gosh... Everything I do now is meaningless... I don't see a reason why I even breathe anymore. Its so hard to let go... even if you know that the person of your dreams is your's no longer...
Father, take me upon your loving wings tonight when i lay upon my bed to rest. Let me never rise to this emptyness and hollowness again. I thank you for everything you have graciously bestowed upon my underserving self, I beg you for this small mercy and deliver me from this life. Let my body fail, let my spirit leave, let me sink into eternal rest. Let me come home... please... Tears stain my pillow nightly... all I feel after a long sleep is more tired. Its not a physical thing anymore... my mind and spirit are weak and my heart beats no more... I'm at a loss... My bearings have completely faded... I don't see a point in carrying on in life any longer. Every morning i rise to heartache and many horrid thoughts... How can I move on that fast... I cannot... Not when all my love has been invested into one being... For I have no more love to survive on... Promises which are broken will have consequences... I live life by my own rules and these rules apply to all I do... Thus break a promise and you lose trust, betray me and lose me forever. Hold up your end and friendship will be maintained, but how can i accept things as they are now... I am in a total wreck... I feel lost... I don't wanna live any longer. If my prayers are heard, then this will be the last entry in this dairy... I pray that my prayers are answered... So no more tears will fall, so no more hearts will bleed... For those who will may miss me should I leave, I beg of you, do not mourn, but rejoice for me and take pity upon yourselves... Rejoice because I need not suffer any longer... Pity yourselves because you still have to... But I pray for all of you as well, may He deliver you from the sorrows and pain in your lives. Goodbye, hopefully forevermore... And I pray that I'll be wrestling Crocodiles with my hero good old Stevo, in that big Croc paradise up in the skies. Do not condemn me and say I know not how precious life is, I do, or at least I did when I had meaning in my life...
Father, take me upon your loving wings tonight when i lay upon my bed to rest. Let me never rise to this emptyness and hollowness again. I thank you for everything you have graciously bestowed upon my underserving self, I beg you for this small mercy and deliver me from this life. Let my body fail, let my spirit leave, let me sink into eternal rest. Let me come home... please... Tears stain my pillow nightly... all I feel after a long sleep is more tired. Its not a physical thing anymore... my mind and spirit are weak and my heart beats no more... I'm at a loss... My bearings have completely faded... I don't see a point in carrying on in life any longer. Every morning i rise to heartache and many horrid thoughts... How can I move on that fast... I cannot... Not when all my love has been invested into one being... For I have no more love to survive on... Promises which are broken will have consequences... I live life by my own rules and these rules apply to all I do... Thus break a promise and you lose trust, betray me and lose me forever. Hold up your end and friendship will be maintained, but how can i accept things as they are now... I am in a total wreck... I feel lost... I don't wanna live any longer. If my prayers are heard, then this will be the last entry in this dairy... I pray that my prayers are answered... So no more tears will fall, so no more hearts will bleed... For those who will may miss me should I leave, I beg of you, do not mourn, but rejoice for me and take pity upon yourselves... Rejoice because I need not suffer any longer... Pity yourselves because you still have to... But I pray for all of you as well, may He deliver you from the sorrows and pain in your lives. Goodbye, hopefully forevermore... And I pray that I'll be wrestling Crocodiles with my hero good old Stevo, in that big Croc paradise up in the skies. Do not condemn me and say I know not how precious life is, I do, or at least I did when I had meaning in my life...
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