GOD! I MISS DIVING!

Man i really miss diving! Although its been only 2 weeks since i came back from riau... Oh wells... If there's a paragraph to describe diving this is it:

I live my life one dive at a time, because when I'm at the bottom and all I see is the deep and endless blue all around me, I'm free.

I think about so many things and people; God, for it is through his divine majesty that he has created the oceans with all their wonders. My family, whom I wish could dive with me. My friends, whom I wish could also share my joy and serenity found beneath the waves. My crush,whom has stolen my heart along with the sea. I always wonder when I'll dive with her again... I think about the people I've wronged and how I'm to make it up to them. About the future and all its potential... About the past filed with laughter and tears. About what I really want in life... Thank you Lord, for this amazing hobby through which I've once again found you.

22nd August seems so near and I don't really want that day to come for its goodbye for a long while... Damn I wish I had met you earlier...

The story of my life...

Ever heard of the phrase; Lucky in life, Unlucky in love? I guess that's me... First, the ones whom I fall for always seem to be a cut above the rest... Damn how am I ever gonna match up to them... I've always felt kinda inferior to them... Smart, Charming, Beautiful, Witty and Intellectual... All of which I'm not... I'm fat, a joker, very rarely serious and Lazy! I'm not dumb according to my peeps just lazy... Haiz...

The first... She was an eyeopener to the world of the opposite sex. Smart, witty and very confident! She was to be the standard I'd hold every other girl to. Until I realised that every girl is different and beautiful and attractive in her own right and way. Finally, I conceded to the fact that I'd never get anywhere except to be best friends with her... Still I harbored hopes for 5 long years... Then I finally gave up... She just never saw me in the light in which I saw her in... Oh wells...

The second... Yet another eyeopener! Her beauty came in waves! She was a hurricane of intelligence and she was always composed and reserved! Once again I fell short of the mark and ended up as just a friend. My best friend now holds her heart in his. I'm in all truth very happy for them both!

The third... A stunning sight was placed before me and she had something for me too. However, I stupidly never wanted to believe it! I was always feeling incompetent and that's when I lost her! Damn! She was soon lost to me as a potential lover but from there came an extraordinary friendship which holds strong till today!

The fourth... The most complicated! She fit the wish list perfectly! Maybe height was a little bit of a problem but hey, I was stunned! I didn't know what to think at that time and still don't know what to make of that past situation! She held my hand and we actually kept at it for a while but once again it was not meant to be... She is still a close friend though... I guess something good came out of that after all.

The fifth... The one which deceived... At last I thought I had done it! But NO! I was nothing but a fool for thinking that! For 2 years we were together and then "WE" were no more... All those words she fed me... All the hopes and dreams she gave... All for nothing... Its over and done with... Broken was I, but determined to move on. Never again I thought to myself will I be so stupid... I was wrong...

The sixth... She had always been there, somewhere... But I just never saw her in that light which blinds... Until one fine day when it happened... I realised that maybe some magic could happen here... WRONG AGAIN! She had her sights set somewhere else... Oh wells! Good Luck to you babe!

The seventh... The current... She graced me with a smile and that was it! I knew I was hooked. I had taken the bait, hook, line and sinker! 3 days and 2 nights of looking at her from afar, not daring to make any moves... But her words coupled with her voice simply added to the intoxicity she unknowingly brought with her... I felt dazed by her and lost in her... I could not find myself... Then I plucked up the courage and asked her out... It was 2 hours of sheer bliss for me... But maybe I'm being too hasty... Who knows?! Still I know its not a possibility now... She's leaving on a scholarship... FOR 4 YEARS!!!!!!! I'm gonna die! But if its meant to be... 4 years my wait shall be... And by then who knows who I would have become... But I shall wait and see... Hope and pray that I'll be with her someday... Till then... I'll be here and she'll be there... Damn...