hmmm thoughts

Wow its been ages since my last posting... Things happened, some good some bad... But life goes on... Hmmm, what would you do to somebody who betrayed all your trust and love? I know what i did, some of you will call me evil and may even curse me for what i'm about to say but hey its my life... so yeah here goes... When i first heard the news of the treason agianst me, i was angry and wanted to lash out, however, i did see this coming so i was partially prepared, still my preperation didn't stop the burning pain, anger and DISGUST i felt. So i became cold. Just a hard shell of my former self, i figured if i'm this hard, i can't be hurt agian. STOOPID me... I ended up hurting myself. *doinng on my head* My words were like ice and it seemed that ice flowed in my veins but who cared. So i decied to show my anger and disgust in ways that weren't explosive but sent my message loud and clear..."keep away from me traitor!" So i wrote a letter, a cold and almost coporately-professional one, like the ones school gives you... i felt no need for me to be warm and fuzzy cos i hold no love or care for ones who betray me. Oh well, now that time has past, i do feel just a bit selfish but honestly, what do i care now! wahaha! i mean its better to cut your losses before they become seriously damaging right? so yeah i did. and now, come to think of it, i feel tons better that i have cut out that dirty and DISGUSTING portion from my life... I can finally start anew. Still i am compelled to forgive my tresspasser, i think someday i will, but when that day comes is an entirely different matter. i know i may seem cruel, but its my way of doing things. I'm trying to find that warm fuzzy bugger who disappeared when i became cold but i have yet to find him. So my search continues, and maybe one day with the grace of God Almighty, I will become the fuzzy bum again. Till then, ciaoz!

PS
sorry for the extremely vague description of the matter of my betrayl, i just didn't wanna commit much of it to memory.
and to my traitor, if ever you read this, the message still stands clear "BACK OFF"